Dear Diary
by Amaya Kobatsuki
Summary: Kaoru writes his final diary entry saying goodbye to everyone he knew and to the one he loves, even if the one he loves doesn't love him. Kaoru/Kyoya and implied one sided Mori/Kyoya. Character death. Second chapter is Kyoyas explanation.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Diary,

He loves me, well he use too. We use to laugh together, play games, go out, do everything. We were joined at the hip. That is until _That _ happened.

It was just a normal day. Everyone was hanging out on the couches together, just laughing about something our residential idiot did, like always. I was sitting next to him discussing if we were going to talk to his father today about, well _us. _He kept making excuses, He has meetings all week, He's going on a buisness trip next week, all that shit. I knew he was lying, that he just didn't want to tell his father. I thought I understood why, I mean I assumed that his father was going to flip when he found out and say he had to break up with me and that I would bring his family no profit but apparently I was wrong.

I had gone to the washroom as everyone was leaving but he stayed in the room to wait for me. I got back to the door but stopped when I heard hushed whispers a crash and then... I couldn't believe what i was hearing so I opened the door. Worst mistake of my life. I think I would have been happy without knowing, I mean they do say ignorance is bliss. In the middle of the room, acting as if it was completely normal, was my boyfriend and someone else... Making out.

When he saw I was there he imediatly pushed away and started saying that it wasn't what it lloked like. But it was what it looked like. He had been cheating on me. I found out later that it had been going on for weeks. When I finally asked him about it he admitted to it. He said that I was just a fling, a fun side thing. He told me he had never loved me and then broke up with me.

I cried. I cried for hours. I didn't show up at school for weeks. I got stopped eating. I stopped talking. I stopped seeing everyone. I had stopped living really. I had loved him, honestly and truely. I thought that we could have survived anything and that we might have even been able to get married in the futur. I thought it was a forever and always thing. Oh how wrong I was.

Honestly, I really have given up on living. I guess that's why I'm writing this. To explain to everyone why I did this. This is a goodbye and an apology. I'm sorry I ignored all of you and that I never properly got to say goodbye. I will always remember all of you. You guys were my friends and my family. My only regret is that I will never see you guys again.

And for _him, _I really did love you and I always will. I just hope you are happy with your new life. I'm sorry you only saw me as a fling and that you didn't get to have a happy relationship when you were with me, that you had to resort to someone else. And if I was picked up after rather than before then I'm sorry you were so bored of your relationship that you got another one. I just want you to remember all the happy memories you have of me. I love you forever and always...

As you guys will never be able to talk to me again then I have to say everything I want to here. I enjoyed every minute of hanging out with you guys. I'm so glad we sticked together through the ups and downs, I'm just sorry that I will never come back up from this down. I'm sorry it had to end like this. My last request is to remember me alive, well and most importantly **happy.** I'm sorry all this happened...

Goodbye...


	2. Chapter 2

It was hard to hear about it. I never thought that would happen. Then again everyone told me I never tought about anyones feelings.

I really had loved him. I did, honestly. He was amazing and beautiful and just what I needed in life. I had never told him but I had already told my father about us. I kept making excusses to see my father with him because I didn't want him to get hurt. When I had talked to my father it was a long and painful discussion, if you can call it that. I told him I was gay and that I was dating someone, that I loved that someone. He was outraged. He told me that not everyone liked gays and if it got out that one of his sons was gay he would lose costomers and therefore money. He told me he would rather I date a commoner than a guy. He demanded that I break up with him or he would disown me. Knowing my father this wasn't a lie and so I complied.

That is the biggest regret I have. The other one is how I broke up with him. I was a very observant character so I had noticed the signs of a crush coming from the silent giant. I knew he liked me and I used it to my advantage. When everyone left the club room that day and my love went to the bathroom I cornered the giant. I told him that we broke up because I liked him. For lack of a better word, I seduced him. He kissed me and we knocked something off a table making it crash. The kiss got deeper and full of more passion. I accedently let a moan slip by and that's when the door opened. I knew who it was straight away and immediately regretted what I was doing. I was going to explain it to him but he left.

Weeks later he confronted me about it. I told him that I had been cheating on him and that I had never really loved him. It broke my heart when I saw his face so full of misery. I had to look away so I wouldn't break down. He left and disappeared for weeks. He wouldn't see anyone. His mirror got depressed and angry, our idiot king looked concerned, the scholarship student looked upset, the teen-turned-kid was constintly crying about the absence, and the giant was enraged with what I had done. Granted everyone was angry with me but he was mad that I had used him.

I never thought this would happen though. I thought that after a few weeks he would come back to school and we could all move on. I was never expecting his mirror to burst into the room with a leather bound black book and tears streaming down his face.

I felt heartless. Hell I guess I am, just like everyone said. I'm an idiot for listening to my dad and not my heart. All I want is my angel back so that we can laugh and talk and just be together. I never will be now though. I will never see him again. He's dead and I caused it. Even if I did die I wouldn't be able to see him. I'm sure he's in heaven and I would be sent straight to hell. I guess I have o live the rest of my life in the scorn and hatred of my once friends as punishment. I promise though that somehow I will be able to tell him that I love him.

Because I do love him... Forever and Always.


End file.
